To Exist As I Am (Hardback)

A Doctor's Notes on Recovery and Radical Acceptance

Grace Spence Green

A young doctor's extraordinary story of near-death, recovery and radical acceptance

'One of the most powerful medical memoirs of recent years' WATERSTONES

'Essential reading' XAND VAN TULLEKEN

'Astonishing, important, and truly radical ... this book is completely transformative' POLLY MORLAND

'A beautiful, powerful, indelible read. Superb' RACHEL CLARKE, Guardian

It wasn't a car crash, but there was a collision. He fell from the third floor.

At the age of twenty-two, Grace Spence Green's spine was broken at the fourth thoracic vertebra, and her life changed tracks. One day, she was in hospital supporting patients, the next she was one.

To Exist As I Am traces Grace's journey back to the wards and back to herself.

Through her extraordinary story, she asks how we might fight for change, and shift how we think about disability - while joyously embracing life exactly as we are.

'Inspiring and life-affirming' VIV GROSKOP

'It'll change the way you think about disability. Stop whatever it is that you're reading and read Grace Spence Green instead' GAVIN FRANCIS

'Unputdownable, awe-inspiring, necessary' GABRIEL WESTON

'Surrendering to what happens to us, to find joy and meaning in spite of it, is the bravest and most wise choice we can make and this book is an extraordinary one to inspire just that' MIRANDA HART

'So true and so beautiful' TOM SHAKESPEARE

Publication date: 05/06/2025

£16.99

ISBN: 9781800814486

Imprint: Wellcome Collection

Subject: Arts, Language & Literature, Biography & Memoir, Health & Wellbeing

To Exist As I Am (Ebook)

A Doctor's Notes on Recovery and Radical Acceptance

Grace Spence Green

A young doctor's extraordinary story of near-death, recovery and radical acceptance

'One of the most powerful medical memoirs of recent years' WATERSTONES

'Essential reading' XAND VAN TULLEKEN

'Astonishing, important, and truly radical ... this book is completely transformative' POLLY MORLAND

'A beautiful, powerful, indelible read. Superb' RACHEL CLARKE, Guardian

It wasn't a car crash, but there was a collision. He fell from the third floor.

At the age of twenty-two, Grace Spence Green's spine was broken at the fourth thoracic vertebra, and her life changed tracks. One day, she was in hospital supporting patients, the next she was one.

To Exist As I Am traces Grace's journey back to the wards and back to herself.

Through her extraordinary story, she asks how we might fight for change, and shift how we think about disability - while joyously embracing life exactly as we are.

'Inspiring and life-affirming' VIV GROSKOP

'It'll change the way you think about disability. Stop whatever it is that you're reading and read Grace Spence Green instead' GAVIN FRANCIS

'Unputdownable, awe-inspiring, necessary' GABRIEL WESTON

'Surrendering to what happens to us, to find joy and meaning in spite of it, is the bravest and most wise choice we can make and this book is an extraordinary one to inspire just that' MIRANDA HART

'So true and so beautiful' TOM SHAKESPEARE

Publication date: 05/06/2025

£18.99

ISBN: 9781800814493

ISBN 10 / ASIN: B0DHLRT13J

Imprint: Wellcome Collection

Subject: Arts, Language & Literature, Biography & Memoir, Health & Wellbeing

To Exist As I Am (Audiobook)

A Doctor's Notes on Recovery and Radical Acceptance

Grace Spence Green

A young doctor's extraordinary story of near-death, recovery and radical acceptance

'One of the most powerful medical memoirs of recent years' WATERSTONES

'Essential reading' XAND VAN TULLEKEN

'Astonishing, important, and truly radical … this book is completely transformative' POLLY MORLAND

'A beautiful, powerful, indelible read. Superb' RACHEL CLARKE, Guardian

It wasn't a car crash, but there was a collision. He fell from the third floor.

At the age of twenty-two, Grace Spence Green's spine was broken at the fourth thoracic vertebra, and her life changed tracks. One day, she was in hospital supporting patients, the next she was one.

To Exist As I Am traces Grace's journey back to the wards and back to herself.

Through her extraordinary story, she asks how we might fight for change, and shift how we think about disability – while joyously embracing life exactly as we are.

'Inspiring and life-affirming' VIV GROSKOP

'It'll change the way you think about disability. Stop whatever it is that you're reading and read Grace Spence Green instead' GAVIN FRANCIS

'Unputdownable, awe-inspiring, necessary' GABRIEL WESTON

'Surrendering to what happens to us, to find joy and meaning in spite of it, is the bravest and most wise choice we can make and this book is an extraordinary one to inspire just that' MIRANDA HART

'So true and so beautiful' TOM SHAKESPEARE

Publication date: 05/06/2025

£24.99

ISBN: 9781800814967

ISBN 10 / ASIN: B0DXG5Z5YC

Imprint: Wellcome Collection

Subject: Arts, Language & Literature, Biography & Memoir, Health & Wellbeing

Read by: Grace Spence Green

Reviews for To Exist As I Am

'To Exist As I Am reflects on the boundaries between those who care, and those who receive care in an absolutely extraordinary way. Grace combines humour, warmth and grit to tell a story that would make anyone reflect on their own sense of self and the meaning of the relationships around them as well as on the nature of injury and healing. Essential reading'

Xand van Tulleken 

'Grace said she made the decision not to hold out for a cure or "for my legs to wake up ... life was for living now". Surrendering to what happens to us, to find joy and meaning in spite of it, is the bravest and most wise choice we can make and this book is an extraordinary one to inspire just that'

Miranda Hart 

'This immersive, deeply moving book is so much more than a meditation on learning medicine. Spence Green's physical injuries are severe enough, but she also has to contend with the million microaggressions and forms of systematic exclusion that disabled people face in modern Britain. It's a beautiful, powerful, indelible read'

Rachel Clarke Guardian

'A book of wisdom and love, trauma and acceptance, extraordinary resilience and justified anger, it'll change the way you think about disability. Stop whatever it is that you're reading and read Grace Spence Green instead'

Gavin Francis 

'A wonderfully intricate, heartfelt account of the blurred line between patient and doctor. This book explores the strength and the fragility of the human body and celebrates the depth and tenacity of the human spirit. Grace's story is immersive, inspiring and life-affirming'

Viv Groskop 

'Astonishing, important, and truly radical. In picking apart so many of the tired binaries we use to think about love, care, trauma and healing, it is as if - at last - someone had switched the lights on. Lucid and hopeful but also fierce in its challenge to a world that so often gets disability all wrong, this book is completely transformative.'

Polly Morland 

'Unputdownable, awe-inspiring, necessary. The best book I've read by a doctor in a very long time'

Gabriel Weston 

'Having also been through spinal cord injury, this is the best personal account of that trauma. I kept wanting to underline sentences because they are so true and so beautiful'

Tom Shakespeare 

'To Exist As I Am upends the familiar tropes of the rehab memoir, and gives us something perceptive and new ... Valuable, insightful and beautifully written'

James and Lucy Catchpole 

'Exquisitely written and compelling, this book tells the story of a remarkable doctor. By the end it will have upended the preconceptions many of us hold as to what it is to lead a rich, fulfilled life'

Caroline Elton 

'A deeply impactful and honest exploration of disability, healing, and identity. Grace Spence Green's story is an essential voice in the conversation on anti-ableism and true representation'

Shani Dhanda 

'A story of injury, loss and acceptance that asks us to consider what it truly means to recover. Grace Spence Green shows us how much we can gain when we stop trying to overcome disability and start embracing it as part of what makes us human. Her story is inspiring in the best possible ways as an activist call to arms and a testament to the joy that comes through finding your community'

David Turner 

'An astonishing book'

Ed Balls 

Grace Spence Green

Grace Spence Green